Me and my friends we sings song and get drunk, by the fire everythings crazy. So we dance around and be way too lazy. Were all so drunk and im so drunk. All these things i think about are finally okay.
It wasnt me, i knew it couldnt have been. i so wished it could be me that you thought about. Your mind is too worn out to put your fingers to the glass. I cant expect more than this, for the familiar is so comforting. Ive been too weird, to be anything more than underestimated. Ive underestimated too much in second guessing the third guess, picking flowers and pulling out their pedals. I sing, “its over its over the woodpecker never crows, turtles sleeping they will never have these loathesome thoughts. Safe in my shell i will see this day through”
The green glow of this tv does nothing to help me sleep, nor does it keep me up. How could it? When this idea is bigger than the room we lay here in. If the world was fair, then things could proceed in motion. Like the rate of flames upon newly added sticks to the flames. Im working on making this world fair, getting these things in order you see. Please listen and retain, what i have for you is wonderful. What i have for you is different, and unbias. Something i am certain you could love. Maybe im just sad, and maybe nobody cares. All want is for this to be constant. It is the one thing pure that has ever taken away this eptiness.
If it means anything, this means everything. Ill take what you offer, and i will give anything you ask for. Always.
My heart is not here, this town is wearing me down. You cannot blame me for fighting, because i see opporotunity in something so great as this. All i wish for is your happiness, that i know i could give to you better than someone else. And in turn this would bring the same to me. Best friends are weird and talk all the time, im not getting anything tangable so it leaves my mind to wonder.
The way i look at it, life, were on a tiny rock floating in an huge galaxy thats also floating in the rest of the universe. Our existance is a blink of an eye, in the look at movement through space=time. time means nothing. the fact that you hate someone for something they did to you, or the wars going on between men. Means nothing. The only thing that means anything is love. Love in your art, music, family, friends, and strangers is really the only that is a constant.
"i cant save myself, and i cant help myself when i talk to you. And then suddenly everythings blue" -Iain Ewing. This is one of my favorite lines in our new song. We changed thhe name of our project to Longweirdword. Were playing in west plains MO on the 30th of march, and in Kc MO on march 31st. I hope to see you there ;)
This is a compilation of some of the writing ive been up to this past year.
If i could be the product of such a unique artist, then i would hang myself on the walls in every Wal*Mart to let the masses have glipse of your mind. If I am the painting, does that make me an artist? If i were the artist id hope to show you something new. in this manufactured society of colleges and cooporations, i wish it were new what i have for you.
And theres an image in my head burned into my retina, only the sun can contest this picture. Cant understand the incomperable. this enourmouse burden i carry, It weighs so heavily. But it is the firewood that keeps it burning hotter to fuel this machine so that the stars are so much brighter. Im getting used to the darkness, the lights more vivid and sustained. Than the moment it remained a mystery, where our hearts laid in our history. you were by my side, and not his. Well the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. But the cows eat it just the same. We could laugh with the cows eating grass and become their friends. “Oh humble human being i trust you with my body lay your hands on me, and i will eat your grass.” But The stars would fall like diamonds, this earth would be painted by our hands. Brushstrokes while everyone is watching. Wheather they hate what they see or the love it. Still it never before existed in their world. So lets add to the noise, Paint pictures of the void that separates anything at all.
Traveling back and forth between asleep and conciousness we lay there, our bodies intertwined. My hand on your skin, more intoxicating than its ever been. The dreams i have are so obscure, but feel so real. my mind is only set at ease when i tell myself its permanent, oh ill do everything i can to make this permanent. My best friend and I telling stories of our mistakes staying up way to late.
Nothing is the same, no not anymore. Day to day im more unatached to everything, i put this passion into my music. Its the only thing that is stable right now. My heart is Kansas City.
“Tell me what you would tell me if the world were to end tomorrow” there :)
Today was a wonderful day. Got sweaty and nasty in a garge with my best friends, and started the skeleton of our new song “remember that time we all got naked in the creek”. And saw a very special human. This is what ive needed. I have so much writing that ive been to scarred to release, from this past year and months. But if anyone wants to read it ill send them a link :) just lemme know.
So much has happend in these past few months, my eye is fixed but all of these things are here to distract me. I need my friends more than ever, i need this music more than ever. Keep me here, keep me moving forward. And you who says i am your only friend, you’ve treated me with hate for so long. How can you expect me to be here for you, or want to hang out with you. You’ve betrayed me countless times, lied, stolen from me, and tried starting fights. All of your stupid insecurities have led you to hatred and anger. Take your life out on me and there is no chance i can help you. Your selfishness will destroy your friendships, what few you say you have. You tell my secrets, but ive always kept yours. But as for my friends who treat me as a friend, we have had our troubles yes, but i thank you because i would be nowhere without you. All these toubles ive been having, we drown it away with vodka and laughter. Getting stoned, smoking cigarettes and Telling stories of better times. I look back on the days with my best friend, driving around getting way too high. Going down dark streets to scare ourselves away from the graveyards. With the stories of our life portrayed as if we were in Hyrule, that couch i swear was King of Red Lions. But my best friend moved away, and the times we spend our just as great if not better than before, but ive been blocked by circumstances. Id love to see you all the time, more than anything really.
In this moment my anxiety has ceased, maybe because im fed up with it. Or im not scarred of death today. Maybe its because My “friend” has gone behind my back, and it took the breath right out of me. But as for now, i will do everything i can to produce my sonic art for you. Because this is all i have, and someone who was so close to me has told me im not good enough. Told me that no one will listen to what i have to say. This sound on the canvas of time I am confident in, im not confident in anything else.
The moment where i realize that we won’t ever be what we were, our lives have separated course. This bothers me now, but only in this moment. Because i know i’ll be happier without you, and that you’ll be happier by anothers side. So here are the doubts that i have had everyday; that you’re the best i could have ever gotten, that nobody else would want my mess of a life. But this is what i know; that we both fucked our relationship into what it was at the end. And that i was treated very bad at times. Worse thaan anything i had ever experienced, aside from my father. The depression i have had, This is why i must run. I will get over this in time. You say i left you for another, but i did not. Ill have a friend closer than i could before, because i need them closer more now than ever before.
So obviously i left my relationship and wrote this post about it. Feel free to ignore this on your dashboard, its kinda sad. But i had to write it. So that I have somthing to look at, and my friends will have something to look at.